hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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