stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
