I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
