I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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