my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize