Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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