Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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