You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
