come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize