This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The air was thick with penises
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
