Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
