I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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