I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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