i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
