we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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