whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
