Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Randomize
