I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
