Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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