It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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