Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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