It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
