one two three fourrrrnication!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
