You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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