The brown eye won't let me do that either.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize