Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
