Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
