He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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