i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We named our party play list daddy issues
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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