Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
