My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
