I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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