Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
