I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize