she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
