I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
