How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
