the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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