Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
