i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
