I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
