I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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