The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
