i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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