I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
