this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
