im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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