um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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