Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
