I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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