but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
