they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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