I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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