I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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