today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
