And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
