the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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