and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I see more hoeing in ur future
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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