So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
