I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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