this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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