...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Randomize
