Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
