i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize