i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you made out with another girl for some wings
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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