Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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