AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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