I didn't shave. On purpose
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
