I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
