drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
